Valentines, shmalentines: the World s 7 Least Romantic Event Venues

LOL, VENUES
Hey, don t give us that face. We don t have anything against romance. Romance is great. It s the chocolate sprinkles on the cupcake of life. But every other blog on earth has that one covered, so in preparation for that special day of the year when single event professionals eat grocery store sushi and ruminate on dying alone, here are seven libido-killing locations for your next event.
Costa Rica: Fuselage 727
Hey, I know. Why don t you throw a party in the body of a downed airliner that looks like it just finished doing an impression of your last relationship?
In fairness, Fuselage 727 wasn t built inside a crashed plane, it was restored from an out-of-use chassis that was dragged through miles of jungle, gutted, and refurbished into the unique monument to making your own fun that you see here today. Still, though.
This fully outfitted, meticulously detailed, two bedroom, Boeing 727 fuselage suite jets out from the jungle canopy, affording you views that will make you feel like you re flying. We salvaged this airframe from its San Jose airport-resting place. We carefully transported the pieces on five, big-rig trucks to the jungles of Manuel Antonio where they have been resurrected into a unique jumbo hotel suite.
Latvia: Karosta Prison
Housed in a real soviet naval port prison, Karosta Exuberant TripAdvisor guest reviews crow, Scary place! and Most awkward museum I ve ever been to . Venue staff can organize activities including an Escape from the USSR game, in which teams dress up like emaciated prisoners and scrabble to freedom through a series of dirt tunnels (no, really). Plus, catering s available:
In our authentic prison buffet we have warm pies and aromatic coffee, also rich hot food. And do not forget to try our special refreshments! You will be served by a real soviet-time buffet-lady.
Oh, man, special refreshements . Book it
New York: Ripley s Believe it or Not
18,000 square feed of shrunken head collections, cockroach attack simulations and albino giraffes. Ladies be goin crazy, amirite? Event planners can book either of two theaters, the largest with a max capacity of 150. Book it
Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum
Once a poorly-managed house of horros, now an event planner s dream locale for cocktail parties and team building retreats.
Originally designed to house 250 patients in solitude, the hospital held 717 patients by 1880; 1,661 in 1938; over 1,800 in 1949; and, at its peak, 2,600 in the 1950s in overcrowded conditions. A 1938 report by a survey committee organized by a group of North American medical organizations found that the hospital housed epileptics, alcoholics, drug addicts and non-educable mental defectives among its population. A series of reports by The Charleston Gazette in 1949 found poor sanitation and insufficient furniture, lighting, and heating in much of the complex . By the 1980s, the hospital had a reduced population due to changes in the treatment of mental illness. Those patients that could not be controlled were often locked in cages.
The Ocean: Frying Pan Tower
Frying Pan Tower, formerly the U.S. Coastguard Frying Pan Light Station, is a lighthouse situated at the end of the Frying Pan Shoals, 32 miles south of Bald Head Island N.C. This is the southernmost end of the feared Graveyard of the Atlantic which stretches up to the northern end of the Outer Banks of N.C.
Tower organizers can arrange for guests to be flown in by helicopter or shipped in by boat, and can tailor your event to include team building activities like deep sea fishing or diving, skeet shooting and golfing contests with biodegradable targets and golf balls! Hey, man, nobody said these weren t cool. We just said no one s getting laid afterwards. Book it
Taiwan: Grand Hyatt Taipei
I envy the no-nonsense, fate-tempting practicality of whoever decided to build this place on a former World War II execution ground. According to Vogue
During its design phase, feng shui experts were hired to place sacred scrolls and various chimes throughout the lobby to ward off evil spirits. Rumor has it that actor Jackie Chan abruptly left the hotel after seeing a ghost.
Myrtle s Plantation
No. No burial grounds. Burial grounds are a guaranteed sexytime boner-killer. Thrillist reports:
This stately home is said to have been built on an ancient Native American burial ground, which pretty much never works out. And apparently 10 murders were committed within the hotel s walls since the 1700s, the most well-known of which was William Drew Winter, who was shot on the porch and managed to crawl up 17 stairs before dying. He can occasionally still be seen doing today, according to legend.
The 5 Most Terrifying Experiential Marketing Vehicles of All Time

LOL, MOBILE MEDIA
No, man. Promotional vehicles are not whimsical client engagement tools. They re harbingers of fiery doom. They re existential crises imbued with motive force. Behold:
The Wienermobile
Look, hot dogs are delicious, OK? No one around here s saying otherwise. But there s a certain amount of willful ignorance involved. Every time you wrap your lips around an over-processed sausage, your brain is making a subconscious command decision to suppress questions like, Are there horses in this? and Why is it the color of tonsils? But one eyeful of the Wienermobile and your cerebral cortex is flooded with images of SOMETHING. It s a giant, glossy, plastic intestine stuffed with glossy, plastic flesh and driven by a crack team of wiener cultists that reportedly have ties to US congress:
The hotdogger position of driving the Wienermobile is open to U.S. citizens, and the job lasts from the first of June until the following first of June. Only college seniors who are about to graduate are eligible. Both current hotdoggers and Oscar Mayer recruiters visit college campuses across the country in search of the next round of hotdoggers. Candidates are screened from an average of 2000 applicants. Every March, a pool of thirty final-round candidates are brought to Kraft Foods and Oscar Mayer headquarters in Madison, Wisconsin, for interviews. Each vehicle can hold two hotdoggers, and twelve people are chosen. Currently there are about 300 hotdogger alumni. U.S. Congressman Paul Ryan was not a hotdogger, but reportedly drove the Wienermobile one time as a guest during a summer job as a Kraft sales representative.
Woah.
Photo via Eventxchange.biz
Meow Mix Mobile
So, we want it to look a little like an acid-induced hallucination from the Disney adaptation of a popular Victorian children s novel, but we also want its eyes to fix passersby with an accusing, manic stare that bathes the darkest reaches of the soul in the floodlights of judgement, slavering gleefully in anticipation of their fall from grace. Like a real cat. Cool?
Planters NUTmobile
So, basically:
Avoid spending your summer fighting ants in the backyard by following the NUTmobile on Twitter.
City Bus Snake Wrap Copenhagen Zoo
You know what I don t have enough of in my life? Violent reminders of my mortality. What I want what I think most people want, really is a hint that civilization s dominion over nature is little more than a comforting delusion, and that we re all really one meteor strike away from returning to the boiling jungles from which we once emerged.
Butagaz Mobile Gas Tank
This shiny mound of fiery death on wheels was built in 1962 as a promotional vehicle for the butane distribution company Butagaz, and made its first appearance at the Tour de France. I can t even look at this thing without bracing for the inevitable explosion. Maybe, like, pre-Bruce Willis, when we all still believed that gas tanks on trucks could remain inert during transport, maybe in those golden days, you could get away with marketing via an oversized explosive device at a major sporting event, but this is a no-no in a post-Die Hard world.
Unusual Event Formats: Zen and the Art of Auto Unveilings

LOL
Ever notice there s a playbook for new car launches? Watch enough of em, and you ll notice the format s actually fairly standardized: keyword-heavy executive speech, followed by intro video that may or may not involve glass shattering in slow motion, followed by high-drama entrance of actual car which will probably roll onto a rotating dais where lights will caress the length and breadth of its chassis. A quintessential example? Okay, how about the Alfa Romeo Giulia Unveiling at the 2015 Los Angeles Auto Show?
See? It s a thing. Let s break this down:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1yx35nmN88
The Executive Speech: Exotic Accents FTW
Nobody wants to buy a machine crapped out by middling engineers in a factory in Chicago. We all want to drive something made by kooky Japanese geniuses that left a promising career in military robotics because they felt honor-bound to bring minimalist perfectionism to every American driveway. Or maybe also by a crack team of Austrian thinkers, who do philosophy in their spare time.
The Soundtrack: Jewel Heists and Vampires
When the car rolls out on stage, it should make every single member of the press feel like Wesley Snipes making heads roll in full pleather.
The Entrance The Slow Drive
The car can t just, like, drive onto stage. It has to roll up like a bond villain pulling out of a parking garage in Vienna.
The Lighting Pan: A Firmament of LEDs
Tron:Legacy may have taken a poor stab at revitalizing a beloved scifi, but it proved one thing true: everything looks exponentially hotter outlined in a halo of LEDs. This fact has not been lost on the auto industry, which has given rise to experiential designers who specialize in creating auto-appropriate visual programming.
The Slow Spin: the Hope Dia
This is what it would look like if they sold the Hope Diamond on QVC.
Did we call that, or what?
An Event Planner s Worst Nightmare: Inaugural Edition
BACKSTAGE, EVENT INDUSTRY, EVERYTHING ELSE, LIVE EVENTS, LOL, POLITICAL
5 Times Throughout History the Presidential Inauguration Didn t Go Quite According to Plan
The 2021 Inauguration is here. A day that changes history and this year certainly is a big one. While everyone has their eyes on Capitol Hill, our event planner vision has us peeking behind the curtain.
It takes a lot to plan a presidential inauguration, and as every event producer knows, events of this scale don t always go according to plan. We decided to take a fun look back at the epic fails (do people still say that?) from inaugural s past, complete with some of our own experiences sprinkled in.
#5 1865: Andrew Johnson was Hammered at the Inauguration
???????? 1865. At the second inauguration of Abraham Lincoln, Vice President-elect Andrew Johnson had the bright idea to manage a bout of typhoid fever with a giant jug of whiskey. He ended up absolutely hammered before the inauguration and was booted off the dais. (Sidebar: bummer social media wasn t around back then, after leaving office, he d have scored a sponsorship with EmergenC.)
Decibel has produced hundreds of events over the years, and we have thankfully only encountered this scenario a handful of times. Most memorably at an award ceremony for a government agency helmed by a Cabinet-Level appointee.
One of the winners came in hot + over-served, and when it was time to accept their award, they hip-checked the Secretary and commandeered the mic to give an acceptance speech even though no speeches were planned. ????
We needed to manage the situation with the least amount of disturbance. We queued up loud award music with our audio engineer, and ballyhoo with our lighting tech, and when the drunk awardee took a pause in remarks, we hit the cue, cut the mic, played the music, moved the lights, and our awesome ASM came out with the proverbial Vaudeville Hook maneuver to walk them offstage.
End result? Looked like it was planned. Yeah, we can handle that.
#4 1961: JFKs Lectern Catches Fire
???????? 1961: The inauguration of JFK. As the cardinal was mid-invocation, the podium caught fire. Turns out the electric motor used to adjust the podium s height shorted out.
The fire was quickly extinguished by Secret Service, and the inauguration continued without further incident, but srsly, can you imagine that After Action report?!
Rest assured, when we say Decibel s events are ????, we mean metaphorical fire never, ever literal.
#3 1873: The Champagne & Canaries Froze
???????? 1873: This is a sad one. It was so damn cold at Ulysses S. Grant s 2nd presidential inauguration in 1873, that the celebratory canaries (yes, that was a thing), froze to death. ????
The 16 degree windy weather had the same impact on the celebratory champagne. History books don t attribute Grant s frigid inaugural to the invention of fros , but that s a leap we re willing to take.
We ve encountered our share of adverse weather, from the double hurricane that hit while we were managing a bus tour in Florida, to the time torrential storms in DC dumped so much rain that we had to slice the roofs off a few tents to avoid collapse under the weight.
Decibel never compromises on safety, #period. We have developed a long-standing relationship with #WeatherDecisionTechnologies and have come to depend on their trusted, hyper-specific forecasting services. Through their team, we are assigned a dedicated meteorologist to stay on top of the situation for the total duration of our outdoor events.
Because if your event isn t a success, neither are we. So yeah, we can handle that.
#2 1973: Nixon s Bird Shit Remediation Greatly Backfires
???????? 1973: Understatement: Richard Nixon didn t care for bird ????. So much so, that he asked the route be sprayed with chemical repellent. Reader: that was not the move.
The poisonous chemicals resulted in a path covered with dead birds. (What is with dead birds & inaugurals??)
Let s be clear Decibel Events is highly environmentally conscious, and we love birds and animals of all kinds. We haven t nor would we ever use dangerous chemicals at our events, however, we have some experience with shit the discourse kind.
One of our recent large-scale virtual events was free and open to the public, so our client understandably, wanted a profanity filter in place. We worked with their internal counsel and social team to develop a comprehensive list of profane words.
The list not only included standard profanities, but also social media work-arounds (shit vs s h i t with spaces). Turns out that when we imported the CSV, it uploaded each individually spaced letter as a curse word. In other words, every word that contained an s was blocked. ????
It took our team nearly 24 hours to trace back why we were blocking so many non-profane words, right in time for the event to go off without a hitch. So yeah, we can f****ng handle that.
#1 2021: Due to the Global Pandemic We Are (Mainly) Virtual Again
????????2021: Yup, we re going virtual. Joe Biden s parade will be the first ever virtual presidential inauguration parade, due to COVID-19.
Inaugural planners say they re going to celebrate America s heroes, highlight Americans from all walks of life, and reflect the country s diversity, heritage and resilience.
We know first-hand that switching to virtual can create a new host of problems, but know that the Presidential Inaugural Committee shares in our yeah, we can handle that attitude.
Our advice to #prfirms #adagencies & #eventprofs: Tune in. Take notes. Democracy doesn t wait, and we don t either.
Bonus: Forklifts for Dead Horses
????????Bonus: This one is more of an urban legend, shared among #eventprofs in hushed tones .
Horses are a crowd favorite during the before-times presidential parade. But if one happened to pass away en route, everything could literally stop in its tracks.
Event planners prepare for this heartbreaking scenario with two forklifts on standby, and the fervent wish they re never needed. This is hardly a fun fact, and absolutely our worst nightmare, but yeah, we can handle it.
Holy Fuck, Apple. You Spent HOW MUCH?!
EVENT DESIGN, EVENT INDUSTRY, EVENT PRODUCTION INSPIRATION, EVERYTHING ELSE, LIVE EVENTS, LOL, PRODUCTION
10 Major Events That Cost Less Than WWDC
Apple spent a whopping $50 million on its annual Worldwide Developers Conference. $50 MILLION.
This staggering figure was recently unveiled by Phil Schiller, former head of Apple s worldwide marketing, during his testimony at the ongoing trial of Epic Games vs. Apple, and it shook us to our core.
Yes, we know Apple is a billion-dollar company, and yes, we know they use their week-long conference to announce their shiny new gadgets (of which we re big fans), but it s still just. a. business. meeting. The set-up is super basic: a stage, some cameras, some speakers, and occasionally a musical guest (Weezer, Panic! at the Disco, Fall Out Boy and Good Charlotte), but nothing so spectacular or extraordinary or life changing that the event could run up that kind of bill.
To put this in perspective, we rounded up some other extravagant events that didn t cost nearly as much as Apple s week-long business meeting.
10. Naomi Campbell s 36th Birthday Party $1.8 Million
Supermodel Naomi Campbell rented out 18 floors of Burj Al Arab, the world s first seven-star hotel, to host her elaborate three-day birthday bash in Dubai. Each day featured a series of celebratory themed events for the OG Super Model and her high-profile guests, including David and Victoria Beckham, and Linda Evangelista. No assistants or phones were harmed at the big birthday bash.
9. Trump s 4th of July Event $5.4 Million
In 2019, during Donald Trump s presidency he hosted an over-the-top 4th of July event featuring tanks, fireworks, and a military flyover at the Lincoln Memorial. He called the event remarkable; we call it a misuse of public funds.
8. Macy s Thanksgiving Day Parade $12.3 Million
This 2.5 mile parade with enormous balloons, unbelievable floats, and talented performers, dazzles crowds during the holidays each year. According to The Smart Shopper s 2016 report, the average total cost to host the parade is between $10.4-$12.3 million. Event logistics can cost up to $3.4 million.
7. Producing Hamilton on Broadway $12.5 Million
Everyone wants to be in the room where it happened. Mounting the show on Broadway took $12.5 million, or one-million-two-hundred-fifty-thousand ten-dollar bills featuring our founding father. There is nothing scrappy about the Tony Award-winning musical, which has grossed more than $1 billion in global revenue to date.
6. Jennifer Lopez & Shakira s Super Bowl Halftime Show $13 million
JLo and Shakira killed the Super Bowl halftime show in 2020. The 14-minute show included more than 130 dancers, 600 field team members, 5,350 pieces of pyrotechnics and some spectacular lasers. The televised performance won an Emmy Award, and resulted in millions of viewers feeling bummed out about their physical fitness and skin care regimen.
5. Opening of the Atlantis Hotel in Dubai $31 Million
With a goal to make this resort opening one of the biggest events of the year, event designer and producer Colin Cowie and Empire Entertainment turned up the flash to throw a lavish three-day extravaganza. Powerful video projections, pyrotechnics and fireworks told the story of the Atlantis across the outer facade, ending in the largest-ever fireworks display on record more than seven times larger than those used at the Beijing Olympic games.
4. 2021 Oscars $40 Million
The Academy Awards wanted to go big and go live this year. All attendees were required to take three COVID tests prior to attending, but considering they received a gift bag containing approximately $225,000 worth of goodies, it feels like a fair trade to us. Plus, ya know, human interaction.
3. Opening Ceremonies for the 2012 London Olympics $42 Million
This spectacle was called Isles of Wonder. Directed by Academy Award-winning British film director Danny Boyle, the London Olympic opening ceremonies pulled out all the stops. With a television audience of 900 million, it became the most-viewed Olympic opening ceremony.
2. Burning Man Music Festival $44 Million
In 2018, Burning Man reported it took $44 million to produce the music festival focused on community, art, self-expression and self-reliance. The event creates a temporary city in a Nevada desert and features a 40-foot-tall burning effigy among hundreds of other elaborate art structures. Fun fact: they spend $1.4 million for sanitation services alone (aka: port-a-potties).
1. Prince Harry & Meghan Markle s Royal Wedding $45 Million
We watched, we wept, we drank tea at 5am. A royal wedding is more affordable than a work conference. <<
Apple: give us a call. We can produce a fantastic WWDC for you with a lower price tag and so much more than a stage with a screen and some lights.
2021 Oscars BINGO Card
EVENT INDUSTRY, EVERYTHING ELSE, LIVE EVENTS, LOL
It s almost time for the 93rd Academy Awards show!
Though we re starting to see the light at the end of the COVID tunnel, most of us are still planning to tune in to the 2021 Oscars at home, and we ve got the perfect free Oscars BINGO card to help you do just that.
This year the Oscars are going to be completely live that s right, with real people in the audience and everything! The Academy specifically said NO Zoom, NO sweatpants. While we can t promise that WE won t be donning some comfy clothes, we are excited to watch a fully live awards show again.
Enjoy this challenging and cheeky BINGO card that we have created to help your 2021 Oscars watch party really pop, all you have to do is print it out and play along. If you get BINGO, make sure you TAG us on Instagram: @@DecibelManagement for a chance to win an exclusive prize!
2021 Golden Globes BINGO Card
EVENT INDUSTRY, EVERYTHING ELSE, LIVE EVENTS, LOL
The 78th annual Golden Globe Awards is upon us!
With a majority of us still stuck at home, what better way to spend a Sunday evening than tuning in to the part-live, part-virtual award show with an exhilarating game of 2021 Golden Globe BINGO?
We ve created a challenging and whimsical BINGO card for you below, all you have to do is print it out and play along. If you get BINGO, make sure you TAG us on Instagram: @@DecibelManagement for a chance to win an exclusive prize!
Click image above to print your 2021 Golden Globe Awards BINGO Card